Well me and hubby were kinda obsessing on the idea of a place of our own, we went to look at foreclosure's with our Friends and anything we might possibly be able to afford is not live able or in very safe areas, we have been looking for around $5000 no more and have actually found a few places but one place we looked at was $30,000 it looked great from the front fenced yard built in 1909 big front porch but no parking area so we went around the to the back of the house and as i turn the corner i was so happy there was a lane i figured cool we can just park in the backyard than i saw the yard, figured we could easily fit 4 vehicles side by side and have running room for the dogs and a small garden yea! than i looked up wow is all i can say there was no back to the house the porch was gone so not live able. it really made both of us depressed to say the least and i started thinking do i really want to worry about going to my car at five o'clock in the morning for work, will i be able to be by myself in the house while hubby's at work if and when we have kids would i feel comfortable about them playing in the yard my answer was so loud and clear no, i cant force this on my family or friends, i will keep looking but i will make sure we are safe healthy and happy.

Thou looking at these homes did put it all into prospective i know know that i would love to have 1-5 acres with a reclaimed barn turned into a home or even a small mobile home, but most importantly in an area where i wont be afraid to leave for work in the dark. also in an area that i can have chickens and a bee hive and a small garden, so i now will stop freaking out about everything and try to remember that one day if were good we can get to that dream we just need to remember the long term when were about to buy the latest of something, do we really need it can we live with out it, will it enrich our lives, or just create more clutter, and than we will take a deep breath and imagine sitting on our own porch watching our dogs jumping after lighting bugs imagine eating a dinner we grew and knowing that we together created our home. these simple thoughts have really given me strength and hope.